Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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