Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize