In the future we'll all be gay
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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