you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
last night I used snow as a chaser
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize