He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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