i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize