i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize