We won't sleep together?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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