Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize