but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize