he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize