Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
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I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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