And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
