Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize