all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
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Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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