spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize