i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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