I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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