coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize