I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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