He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize