I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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