A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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