bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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