question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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