Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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