how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize