Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
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The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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