Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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