did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize