I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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