The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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