saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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