his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize