it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize