Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize