no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize