we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize