True but thats because hes a fetus.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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