Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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