idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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