forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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