I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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