I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize