apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize