Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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