i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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