Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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