I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize