so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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